*Disclaimer- this isn’t targeted at any individual and isn’t implying that women aren’t without their faults. Just a few words out of frustration with my own experiences…
I have a bone to pick with the men of my generation. I have truly been through the ringer in the dating aspect of my life. After every failed attempt at generating some sort of romance in my life, I’m always left with the same question- why?
Why do you come into our lives and promise us the world but then disappear like it never happened?
Why do you treat us like we’re nothing but a piece of meat to be looked at and at your beck and call?
Why do you not see that behind the makeup and charm there’s a girl that is longing to be loved, cherished, and appreciated?
I do not think you understand the power that you have when a woman allows you into her life. Hell, I think that you do things that are hurtful and don’t even realize that’s what you’re doing. Sure, most of us have a million walls to break down and hoops to jump through before you feel like she’s opened up to you, but most of that comes from the other men that ruined it for you. I realized a long time ago that I do not need a man to complete me. I’ve managed to make it this far without having to depend on a relationship, but it would be an added bonus to have a partner to continue fighting through this thing we call life with. It took bad relationship after bad relationship, getting burned more times than I can keep track of, and making a few mistakes myself to realize my own worth and what I deserve.
You see, I have felt the pain of being shattered in ways I couldn’t fathom and I have no intention of repeating that experience. This is extremely difficult when trying to navigate the dating waters in 2018. People don’t go out and meet each other anymore. Everything is online. We don’t talk to each other anymore. Most of our communication comes from texting and Snapchat. This drives me insane. It is so difficult to truly get a grasp of a person through a text, but we will still end a relationship even before it starts if we get a certain “feeling” from a text message. (Some of us just suck at texting! For crying out loud, call me!). Most of us, men and women can relate to being “ghosted” and know how that can shatter one’s self confidence.
Every time a new guy comes around the first thing they ask is “How are you still single?”. While I used to take this as a compliment because it was usually sandwiched with comments on how pretty they think I am or how they admire my tenacity, now it irritates me. I’m still single because I decided that I wasn’t going to settle for the first guy that paid me any attention. I’m still single because I have refused to be treated like a last priority. I’m still single because the men that have come around have no idea how to get their lives together so that they can contribute to the relationship. I’m still single because guys like you disappear once you realize that I’m not an easy fling. I’m always amazed by the guys that will work so hard to get your attention than once they have it they find a reason to leave.
So to the single men of my generation- I wish that I could understand your thought process. So many of you claim that women are complicated- well you, sir, are just as complex. I’m asking you, on behalf of myself and others like me, please don’t even bother to make us fall for you if you have no intention of catching us. Please recognize that you are playing with a real person with real feelings. And please, stop being afraid of what a real woman has to offer.
As always, thanks for reading my ramblings.
XOXO
A Beautiful Mess 